Yum!... Stuff

So I was eating an Oreo today and I thought, there's a Roundy behind this… maybe not a 'the Rounge shut down a year ago and this is gonna bring it back' Friday Roundy, but one nonetheless. But more on the cookie later.

Remember a few years back when KFC was still Kentucky Fried Chicken and the Colonel was still a caricature of a drunken, antebellum chicken farmer? Well, times changed. Yum! brands took over and decided to push the public's focus on the long popular nickname "KFC". Most likely the decision was made due to the growing health food trend- which the word 'fried' certainly did no justice to. But there was no shortage of speculation that the abbreviation was done for the C-word… 'Chicken', since KFC had found a cheaper alternative. Personally I think that's still chicken in the Double Down Sandwich, along with about 2 days worth of unhealthy fried fat/goodness. So maybe they just thought it was shorter to say?

Which brings us to Yum!'s more recent and less pronounced plan- rebranding Pizza Hut as "The Hut". I've heard less opinion that what they're serving is not actually pizza, but I think a case could be made. Certainly their expansion into other gourmet Italian cuisine- like the pasta you purchase by the kilo, may mean they didn't want to be seen as one-dimensional.

Anyway, Yum!'s branding decisions are really just meant as a prelude to the Oreo question. Today I looked at a container of Oreo Double Stuf cookies and noticed that, yes, that's right, they are "Double Stuf" with one f. This confuses me. What is Nabisco trying to pull over on us? Did they at some point switch from normal stuff to a cheaper, synthetic stuff, and feel they could be legally liable if if they left the full word in-tact? I'll admit I hadn't experienced an Oreo Double Stuf cookie in some time, so I don't know when exactly the change occurred, and to be honest, I wouldn't have noticed a difference based on taste alone. But that missing f does bother me.

Then I wondered if maybe they just were going for the succinct thing. But if that were the case, wouldn't they follow in KFC's footsteps and go all the way to ODS? It worked for ODB, right? I mean, ODB was considered a visionary artist whereas Ol' Dirty B*st*rd was more of an Ol' Dirty B*st*rd. I don't mean that Dirty. RIP.

Anyway, I'm starting to think there's something amiss in the food industry.

Return of the Roungetable/Ratio Referendum Roundy

It's been a while. Let's talk.

We've all got a good handle on the now standard km:live ratio (mine sits at 99:1) at the moment. However I think there's room to grow on this front - is one ratio really enough to encompass all of our feelings at any particular moment? The answer is yes, (100:0).

Changa and I were discussing the ratio of meat to egg in our breakfast sammies this morning (80:20). They were disgusting. Can we have a ratio that describes how much we want to pull the trigger:eat more food? In that case, the breakfast Changa (pictured above) and I consumed this AM was a solid -80:20, whereas my delicious quesadilla for runch was closer to -10:100. You see how flexible this system is in describing how you feel about a certain meal; clearly the totals don't need to add up to 100.

Any other suggestions? WELCOME BACK ROUNGETABLE :)

Top Ten: Go Flog Yourself!

In honor of Little Larry Sellers, whose dad wrote 156 episodes of Branded but is flunking Social Studies, the Top Ten+ Basic Cable edits of R-rated movie lines of all time. And yes, I've been saving/searching for a while and already have nine to start us off...

Top Ten!!! (Halloween episode)

Top Ten things to look forward to this Halloween...

10. TG - Finally has excuse to dress up as the Indian Chief from Village People and parade around the Meatpacking District. (Fabulous!)

Sliding Doors

Today, I was walking out of my apartment and the door had closed behind me and I actually turned around, reopened it, and walked back in to get my umbrella even though it wasn't raining out. It was the opposite of the Harold and Kumar Moment when Roldy realizes he left his cell phone at his apartment but was already 4 steps away from the door and says no, "we've gone too far".

Anyway, it wasn't raining, I was kinda pissed, and then I got downtown to the giant hole in the ground by where I work and it was absolutely pouring. I'm wearing a suit for Nobu tonight, and had I not had an umbrella there is a greater than 125% chance I'd have killed myself today.

For better or worse, that quick decision to turn around and grab an umbrella (thin slicing for you Gladwell fans out there) ironically led to my continued misery in living life, though kept me happy and unwet (my people are like mogwais) for the morning.

I would like to propose a new daily feature to the rounge in which someone discusses their "Sliding Doors" moment, in which something seemingly inoccuous changed the course of their day/life/ability to get so drnk. Today, because I haven't yet jumped from a building, I will enjoy at least 5 manhattans tonight and a margarita and a few beers.

Tomorrow, I will be back to a normalized KM ratio of 98:2. SMIF.

Thursday Roundy

I hide no feelings about my love of chocolate. It could be my skin tone that has helped me develop this particular affinity, but then wouldn't I want my food to be really big and attractive? Wait, that makes sense too. Ok, so yeah, I like my food like me: Spicy, hot, potent, and usually hilarious.

Back to the point, chocolate is awesome and kill yourself if you're allergic. it goes on damn near anything (except sour patch kids). Cheese? check. Nuts? check. Bacon? Tell me you wouldn't try it. Hell, it's even good on a banana. And god help you if you haven't tried the hot chocolate at Godiva.

Basically, don't do anything stupid with chocolate and you will be rewarded with a wonderful sensation in your mouth and general happiness in life.

That brings us to the nefarious people at Nestle, who decided that their delicious products of which no one had found fault, needed to be expanded on. They invented the Raisinet, which to me is like inventing Ice-9. And the populists today have the chutspa to say WALL STREET SEEKS EXCESS? At least at Lehman we wrapped up crappy mortgages with other crappy mortgages. Nestle made you think that hey, this looks chocolatey, it must be awesome...and BAM, in your stupid face is a mfking RAISIN!

If someone asked me what's the worst food in the world, I would immediately, and without hesitation, reply "raisin". no, I'd say "MFKING RAISINS" and I'd immediately puke then punch you in the stupid face for making me think about them. And movie theatres have decided to ubiquitously place them in their theatres and charge money for them when they really should be placed next to the defibrilator for use of stomach pumping. And god forbid you go with someone else and you have Goobers (which are awesome) and they have Raisinets and you get mixed up. Oh, and the look like rabbit feces.

How could one candy be so bad? How could they ruin chocolate, Ambrosia's ambrosia? I'd dive into a chocolate volcano if I could, but now i'd have reservations because what if raisins where in there?

Raisinets are the Sarah Jessica Parker of Candy. Yeah, I said it. Eat it, horsefaces.


What's your least favorite candy bar?

Lacking Eloquence

I lack the ability to speak/type coherently this morning because i'm so drnk, but I still wanted to share. So, Enjoy:

http://coedmagazine.com/2009/10/14/wags-of-the-2009-mlb-league-championship-series/