Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Weekender- Because Pandas Don't Eat Onions, Except in a 2-Entree Plate of Kung Pao Chicken and Beijing Beef

Collected weekender magazine headlines from the ongoing e-mail series- for those lazy Sundays in the tree. Feel free to add.
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20 comments:

  1. HuevosRancherosSeptember 30, 2009 at 1:31 PM

    Taco Grade: Safety First: How to unlock the dryer if YOU get stuck inside it

    Wesley Con Queso: The 20 Most Fascinating Central American Cities...And Why They Could Disappear By 2012

    TG: Waking up in the morning - A waste of your TIME?

    Queso: Your Job: Of Any Consequence at All?

    TG: The Road Less Travelled: Are YOU on the wrong road?

    Queso: Bonus Issue: 5.5 Billion People Doing More Interesting Stuff Than You (Alphabetical, With Photos)

    TG: Money: Why You Don't Have Any And Never Will

    Queso: Fantasy: Why Not Even Greek Mythology Could Make Your Life Interesting

    TG: In a Nutshell - Will the Peanut Butter You Accidentally Ate KILL YOU?

    Queso: Pantalones: Why What You're Wearing Ain't S*xy Enough To Salsa

    Queso: Pot of Gold? Why Rainbows Might Unlock the Secret to Potent Mar*juana

    Queso: Blenders Today: Why Pureeing may Not Be As Smooth As You Thought

    TG: YouTube: Are Strangers Watching You RIGHT NOW?

    Queso: Where the Sidewalk Ends: The True Story Behind Shel Siverstein's Tragic Death on a Treadmill

    TG: Ghosts: Do They Wash The Sheets After a Few Hauntings?

    Queso: Leap Back...Scott Bakula: Comin' Back At Ya!

    Queso: Denial: Why it isn't YOUR problem

    TG: Darfur: Cheap tickets on the tourist off-season?

    Queso: 101 Reasons Why He'd Kill Himself if He Were You...by George Clooney

    TG: Birthdayz: Are they still the Worst Dayz?

    Queso: Chile: Why They Still Fiercely Defend the Pacific from the Argentines

    Queso: Everyone thinks you’re paranoid: why you suspicions are often correct.

    Queso: Tata by Gaga: Lady Gaga Explains Her Music and its Effect on Your Impending Doom

    Queso: Inside: An in depth analysis of Jurassic Capitalism…Was Pro*stitution the Key Industry?

    TG: Cheese-ex: Tracking the Cheese Markets with Queso von Crumbly, Cheese King of New York

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  2. HuevosRancherosSeptember 30, 2009 at 1:37 PM

    Queso: Wells: Why the Biggest Fear of Children in the 80’s and 90’s Might Be Making a Comeback.

    Grimace: Worldwide Pollution: How SCUBA Tank Manufacturers will Exploit this Disaster for Profit

    TG: Patrick Swazye: Dirty Dancing His Way to Heaven

    TG: A "Rocky" Marriage: How One Dashing Squirrel Stole This Man's Wife, House and Car

    Huevos: Sleeping dog lies: area bulldog denies responsibility for prize poodle's litter

    Grimace: GPS Implants: The Demise of Ninjas?

    Beast: Life insurance and you: why yours isn't worth the payments.

    Ricardo: Merry Go Rounds - Hapless fun or Revolving Machines of Death?

    Ricardo: H*nd Jobs - Is it a hookup if you don't kiss after?

    Ricardo: Decaf Coffee - Where're they dumping the caffeinated slurry?

    Ricardo: Pop Tarts - Does the Food Pyramid have a category for awesome?

    Ricardo: EZ Pass - As easy as they want you to believe?

    Ricardo: Lint Traps - What else are these silent killers trapping?

    Ricardo: Square Dancing - Giving the death blow to Circle Dancing?

    Grimace: Carat Symbol: The New Asterisk?*

    TG: Carat^ vs Carrot^: Debate for the Ages, Spelling Error or One Man's Lifelong, Humiliating Misinterpretation?

    Ricardo: Lighthouses: Quaint Means of Navigation - for Sailors or Inbound Aliens?

    Ricardo: Bed Bugs: Where did they live before mankind invented beds?

    Huevos: Grave Accent: No longer just for Frenchmen and Linguists?

    Huevos: Abracadabra: Not as magical as previously thought?

    Huevos: Franklin Bear? Inside Hasbro's launch of Teddy's Invalid 5th-Cousin, Aimed at Disabled Children.

    Huevos: Mark Zuckerberg's Other Facebook: Exploring an Original Copy of the Domesday Book bound in Medival Baron's Noses

    Huevos: The Walrus: Hollywood's Newest Trendy Pet

    Ricardo: Grave Robbing - A Novice's How To

    Ricardo: Asbestos - Did the wonder fabric ever really go away?

    Ricardo: Puppies Chasing Tails - Can they be any cuter?

    Ricardo: Eskimos - Have they ever seen the color green?

    Grimace: The Duckbill Platypus: God Gives the Middle Finger to Taxonomy

    Huevos: Your Conference Call with Marketing: Incredibly F***ing Boring

    Huevos: Cows.

    Huevos: The Pencil: Somehow Surving Office Purchasing

    Huevos: Directions from Women: Why it's called the Tom-Tom

    TG: Presidential Pooch: The Tense Racial Subtext between Obama's dog Bo and The Dukes of Hazzard County

    Queso: Toon In: Our Investigation into ACME’s Monopoly of Cartoon Industrial Products

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  3. HuevosRancherosSeptember 30, 2009 at 1:39 PM

    Queso: Scent of a Man: How Chris O’Donnell Seduced LL Cool J into Co-Starring in NCIS LA

    Grimace: The Fart of Seduction? 88% of Women Consider Untimely Flatulence an Indication of Virility

    Ricardo: The New Economy - 101 Delicious Recipes Using Dog Food

    Ricardo: The New Economy - Burning Household Furniture to Keep Warm this Winter

    TG: Gold for Salt, Cash For Gold: Is Cash for Salt the Next Big Trade?

    Queso: Smoke and Mirrors: NOT what you thought they were.

    Ricardo: House of Cards - The Decline and Bankruptcy of Topps and Donruss

    Grimace: Reverse psychology: "It doesn't work," explains reverse psychologist.

    Ricardo: Patrick Swayze - Pancreatic cancer was one opponent this "Roadhouse" star couldn't roundhouse

    Beast: What happened to AIDS? An indepth discussion with Magic Johnson on curing the world

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  4. HuevosRancherosSeptember 30, 2009 at 1:59 PM

    Your brain on drugs OR part of a complete breakfast? The poultry industry speaks out.

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  5. RickOctober 1, 2009 at 12:34 AM

    Cereal Exorcism - Is it possible to rid your home of Boo Berry, Count Chocule and Franken Berry once and for all?

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  6. RickOctober 1, 2009 at 12:35 AM

    Nesquik - How much time does the chocolate beverage really save?

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  7. RickOctober 1, 2009 at 12:39 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. RickOctober 1, 2009 at 12:40 AM

    Roomba - Time-saving vacuum cleaner or Skynet recon automaton? (grammar error in first post)

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  9. RickOctober 1, 2009 at 12:43 AM

    Generic-brand lime - Does it decompose bodies as efficiently as its name brand competitors?

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  10. RickOctober 1, 2009 at 12:45 AM

    Burying Grandma in her Snoogie - Respectful last wishes or fashion faux pas?

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  11. RickOctober 1, 2009 at 12:47 AM

    Sarah Palin's memoirs - Birdcage wadding or efficient fire starter?

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  12. RickOctober 1, 2009 at 12:50 AM

    Play Doh Fun Factory - Will this bastion of American manufacturing face outsourcing in 2010?

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  13. RickOctober 1, 2009 at 12:51 AM

    New Mexico - Unfairly maligning Mexico as old?

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  14. RickOctober 1, 2009 at 12:53 AM

    Wii F*llatio - Honing established skills or breeding new generations of teen-wh0res?

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  15. HuevosRancherosOctober 1, 2009 at 2:29 AM

    Get Rich or Dye Tryin': Parking-lot hippies provide a glimpse into the cutthroat business of tie-dye Phish t-shirts

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  16. Taco GrandeOctober 1, 2009 at 8:58 AM

    To Chortle or Guffaw? Five Great New Laughs for Today's Fat Cats and Captains of Industry

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  17. Taco GrandeOctober 1, 2009 at 12:38 PM

    Tabbed Browsing or New Browsing Windows: We Ask the Celebs!

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  18. Wesley Con QuesoOctober 6, 2009 at 2:40 PM

    Trickle Down Economics: Why the Bidet Market Could Make Your Day.

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  19. GrimaceOctober 6, 2009 at 2:51 PM

    The Spin of a Dradle: How Alan Greenspan Played Adonai with Your Future

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  20. GrimaceNovember 9, 2009 at 4:22 PM

    Leaky Fawcett: Screwy Toilet Still Running at Farrah's Mansion, Costing Estate Tens of Dollars in Utility Bills

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