Today, I was walking out of my apartment and the door had closed behind me and I actually turned around, reopened it, and walked back in to get my umbrella even though it wasn't raining out. It was the opposite of the Harold and Kumar Moment when Roldy realizes he left his cell phone at his apartment but was already 4 steps away from the door and says no, "we've gone too far".
Anyway, it wasn't raining, I was kinda pissed, and then I got downtown to the giant hole in the ground by where I work and it was absolutely pouring. I'm wearing a suit for Nobu tonight, and had I not had an umbrella there is a greater than 125% chance I'd have killed myself today.
For better or worse, that quick decision to turn around and grab an umbrella (thin slicing for you Gladwell fans out there) ironically led to my continued misery in living life, though kept me happy and unwet (my people are like mogwais) for the morning.
I would like to propose a new daily feature to the rounge in which someone discusses their "Sliding Doors" moment, in which something seemingly inoccuous changed the course of their day/life/ability to get so drnk. Today, because I haven't yet jumped from a building, I will enjoy at least 5 manhattans tonight and a margarita and a few beers.
Tomorrow, I will be back to a normalized KM ratio of 98:2. SMIF.
Follow up question - at what point is it ok to just take someone else's umbrella? On our floor, if you are gone and it is raining, your constitutionally protected rights to property are immediately forfeit and the rain-shielding device becomes part of the public domain, free for anyone to use. That's fked up, because next time it rains, YOU get screwed. And by YOU I mean me, and also YOU, because YOU are just as guilty as ME of taking the said umbrellas so gfy.
ReplyDeleteSometimes I'm running just a bit behind schedule in the morning, and I am forced to consider time issues when I consider whether or not to drop a deuce before leaving home for the day. The professor of my first class in the morning is a real d-bag to people who show up late, so it's tempting to just try and hold out for awhile. However, I have three classes in a row on Tuesday mornings, and only 10 minutes of break in between each is hardly enough time to grow a tail and make it to the next class on time. However, I have found that it is best to just do it at home first and risk that first professor might just hassle you a little for being late; having to sit through 3 classes in a row, squirming in your chair while clenching your sphincter is the most uncomfortable feeling in the world.
ReplyDeleteI made the wrong decision today.