TOP 10!!!!!!!!!1

Bon Apetit magazine, a gourmet recipe-of-the-month collection for the well-traveled and sophisticated foodist* recently published an interview with gangster rap mogul Rick Ross. Although Ross has the girth and bankroll of the more typical Bon Apetit feature interviewee, his raw style contrasts starkly with the magazine’s more refined readership. One can imagine the magazine’s E.I.C. vacationing in Martha’s Vineyard some scalding week in late-June while her young intern racked his brain for interview subjects, only to have an epiphany during his morning commute while he was listening to the Gucci Mane station on Pandora Radio. What an oddly, even paradoxically appropriate interview. This gets Rounge thinking… what are other would-be examples of unexpected interviewer/interviewee pairs?


*Anyone who says “foodie” gky immediately.

À la recherche du rounge perdu

Roungers, today I’d like to tell you about a dream I had last night. I was late for my meeting to meet the President. And CEO. Of southeast Wisconsin's third largest distributor of Moustache and Earstache wax and styling products. But I didn’t want to leave the house until I found my lucky pen. I had spent the last 20 minutes looking in a plate of huevos rancheros and the July 1987 issue of Popular Mechanics, but to no avail. Then I realize it was in my travel sportcoat all along, which I was wearing- only in the right-hand pocket in lieu of the left-hand pocket. You see, I prefer to keep it in the left-hand pocket because I’m right-handed, and it’s easier to draw across the body when you need to quickly write something down. People don’t always appreciate the value of writing stuff down- nowadays, I mean, everybody assumes they can just make a note in their iPhone or something… but what happens when they accidentally walk into an electromagnet and wipe their memory? You know, I suppose a paper note could catch on fire too, but I’m pretty careful with those things. Normally.

Before long, I was driving southeast on W. North street in my 1979 Toyota Tercel. Thankfully the car has a roomy backseat because there were also two pandas in the car. Upon inquiry, I found out their names were Margo and Julie. I was a little unclear why they were in the car, but they seemed nice enough, so I didn’t ask them to leave. Actually, I was kind of surprised, because on the nature channel pandas always seem kind of snooty and aloof, but these two were pretty jovial- Margo was apparently a DJ on the weekends at this bar near my apartment and Julie was a college football fan. When we passed a park, they saw a couple of tall trees and convinced me to pull over so they could snag a few leaves. The sun was out, so it seemed like a good idea. I pull over, and we went over to the park to toss the frisbee around.

After an hour or so, I looked over, and noticed my car had been stolen. That was kind of a bummer. It could be expected though, considering I left it unlocked with the keys in the ignition. So I figured it was best if I grabbed a surfboard and surfed home. That, on the other hand, was way cooler than driving a car. On the way home, I stopped to pick up my dry-cleaning- 2 shirts and a pair of slacks. Cost me $13.50, and I think all I paid for was packaging- I walked out of there and there was enough plastic wrap and twist ties to build a sailboat. Or a catamaran out of a surfboard. Nice! So, with my clean slacks- why do they call them slacks, exactly- what are they slacking from? It seems to me these are some pretty hard-working pants, so anyway, I got on my surfboard-cum-catamaran, swung by Petsmart to check out Reptile month, and then headed home.

Eventually I got home, and was looking for something to do, so I poured myself a [drink of the week], and a bowl of Brazil nuts, and yes, I mean only Brazil nuts, because I buy them separate not as part of some alleged “mixed nuts” that actually contains very few Brazil nuts and mostly peanuts, and fired up the ol’ PC and spun over to this website- roungetable.blogspot.com

Oh, and then I woke up.

Hearty Variety

Yum!... Stuff

So I was eating an Oreo today and I thought, there's a Roundy behind this… maybe not a 'the Rounge shut down a year ago and this is gonna bring it back' Friday Roundy, but one nonetheless. But more on the cookie later.

Remember a few years back when KFC was still Kentucky Fried Chicken and the Colonel was still a caricature of a drunken, antebellum chicken farmer? Well, times changed. Yum! brands took over and decided to push the public's focus on the long popular nickname "KFC". Most likely the decision was made due to the growing health food trend- which the word 'fried' certainly did no justice to. But there was no shortage of speculation that the abbreviation was done for the C-word… 'Chicken', since KFC had found a cheaper alternative. Personally I think that's still chicken in the Double Down Sandwich, along with about 2 days worth of unhealthy fried fat/goodness. So maybe they just thought it was shorter to say?

Which brings us to Yum!'s more recent and less pronounced plan- rebranding Pizza Hut as "The Hut". I've heard less opinion that what they're serving is not actually pizza, but I think a case could be made. Certainly their expansion into other gourmet Italian cuisine- like the pasta you purchase by the kilo, may mean they didn't want to be seen as one-dimensional.

Anyway, Yum!'s branding decisions are really just meant as a prelude to the Oreo question. Today I looked at a container of Oreo Double Stuf cookies and noticed that, yes, that's right, they are "Double Stuf" with one f. This confuses me. What is Nabisco trying to pull over on us? Did they at some point switch from normal stuff to a cheaper, synthetic stuff, and feel they could be legally liable if if they left the full word in-tact? I'll admit I hadn't experienced an Oreo Double Stuf cookie in some time, so I don't know when exactly the change occurred, and to be honest, I wouldn't have noticed a difference based on taste alone. But that missing f does bother me.

Then I wondered if maybe they just were going for the succinct thing. But if that were the case, wouldn't they follow in KFC's footsteps and go all the way to ODS? It worked for ODB, right? I mean, ODB was considered a visionary artist whereas Ol' Dirty B*st*rd was more of an Ol' Dirty B*st*rd. I don't mean that Dirty. RIP.

Anyway, I'm starting to think there's something amiss in the food industry.

Return of the Roungetable/Ratio Referendum Roundy

It's been a while. Let's talk.

We've all got a good handle on the now standard km:live ratio (mine sits at 99:1) at the moment. However I think there's room to grow on this front - is one ratio really enough to encompass all of our feelings at any particular moment? The answer is yes, (100:0).

Changa and I were discussing the ratio of meat to egg in our breakfast sammies this morning (80:20). They were disgusting. Can we have a ratio that describes how much we want to pull the trigger:eat more food? In that case, the breakfast Changa (pictured above) and I consumed this AM was a solid -80:20, whereas my delicious quesadilla for runch was closer to -10:100. You see how flexible this system is in describing how you feel about a certain meal; clearly the totals don't need to add up to 100.

Any other suggestions? WELCOME BACK ROUNGETABLE :)

Top Ten: Go Flog Yourself!

In honor of Little Larry Sellers, whose dad wrote 156 episodes of Branded but is flunking Social Studies, the Top Ten+ Basic Cable edits of R-rated movie lines of all time. And yes, I've been saving/searching for a while and already have nine to start us off...

Top Ten!!! (Halloween episode)

Top Ten things to look forward to this Halloween...

10. TG - Finally has excuse to dress up as the Indian Chief from Village People and parade around the Meatpacking District. (Fabulous!)

Sliding Doors

Today, I was walking out of my apartment and the door had closed behind me and I actually turned around, reopened it, and walked back in to get my umbrella even though it wasn't raining out. It was the opposite of the Harold and Kumar Moment when Roldy realizes he left his cell phone at his apartment but was already 4 steps away from the door and says no, "we've gone too far".

Anyway, it wasn't raining, I was kinda pissed, and then I got downtown to the giant hole in the ground by where I work and it was absolutely pouring. I'm wearing a suit for Nobu tonight, and had I not had an umbrella there is a greater than 125% chance I'd have killed myself today.

For better or worse, that quick decision to turn around and grab an umbrella (thin slicing for you Gladwell fans out there) ironically led to my continued misery in living life, though kept me happy and unwet (my people are like mogwais) for the morning.

I would like to propose a new daily feature to the rounge in which someone discusses their "Sliding Doors" moment, in which something seemingly inoccuous changed the course of their day/life/ability to get so drnk. Today, because I haven't yet jumped from a building, I will enjoy at least 5 manhattans tonight and a margarita and a few beers.

Tomorrow, I will be back to a normalized KM ratio of 98:2. SMIF.

Thursday Roundy

I hide no feelings about my love of chocolate. It could be my skin tone that has helped me develop this particular affinity, but then wouldn't I want my food to be really big and attractive? Wait, that makes sense too. Ok, so yeah, I like my food like me: Spicy, hot, potent, and usually hilarious.

Back to the point, chocolate is awesome and kill yourself if you're allergic. it goes on damn near anything (except sour patch kids). Cheese? check. Nuts? check. Bacon? Tell me you wouldn't try it. Hell, it's even good on a banana. And god help you if you haven't tried the hot chocolate at Godiva.

Basically, don't do anything stupid with chocolate and you will be rewarded with a wonderful sensation in your mouth and general happiness in life.

That brings us to the nefarious people at Nestle, who decided that their delicious products of which no one had found fault, needed to be expanded on. They invented the Raisinet, which to me is like inventing Ice-9. And the populists today have the chutspa to say WALL STREET SEEKS EXCESS? At least at Lehman we wrapped up crappy mortgages with other crappy mortgages. Nestle made you think that hey, this looks chocolatey, it must be awesome...and BAM, in your stupid face is a mfking RAISIN!

If someone asked me what's the worst food in the world, I would immediately, and without hesitation, reply "raisin". no, I'd say "MFKING RAISINS" and I'd immediately puke then punch you in the stupid face for making me think about them. And movie theatres have decided to ubiquitously place them in their theatres and charge money for them when they really should be placed next to the defibrilator for use of stomach pumping. And god forbid you go with someone else and you have Goobers (which are awesome) and they have Raisinets and you get mixed up. Oh, and the look like rabbit feces.

How could one candy be so bad? How could they ruin chocolate, Ambrosia's ambrosia? I'd dive into a chocolate volcano if I could, but now i'd have reservations because what if raisins where in there?

Raisinets are the Sarah Jessica Parker of Candy. Yeah, I said it. Eat it, horsefaces.


What's your least favorite candy bar?

Lacking Eloquence

I lack the ability to speak/type coherently this morning because i'm so drnk, but I still wanted to share. So, Enjoy:

http://coedmagazine.com/2009/10/14/wags-of-the-2009-mlb-league-championship-series/

Top Ten!!!

Top Ten Folksy Names for Non Franchised Artsy Stores:

10) Scented Candle Store : "In the Wick of Thyme"

Rarrrrrrr!

Herrrrrrr-ro, everybody. While the symbiotic confluence of the Rounge and pandas is still not entirely clear to me, one thing is for sure --- pirate pandas are an unstoppable killing force hellbent on world domination. Rarrrrrr!!

wtf is rounge? - retort

I understand the rounge has been absent as of late, but who could look away when changa is having such a good time trading. He is the Favre of programs, he gets older but the game never does!!

wtf is rounge?

Wake up, sleepyheads. Impromptu Top Ten!!!!!!

Top Ten Items from Childhood Roungers Still Have:

10. TG: A-Team themed bed sheets.

A Brief Exploration of the Tumultuous Interdependence between The Rounge and the Animal Kingdom

The Rounge has, and forever will have, an inexplicable and inextricable link specific creatures in the majestic animal kingdom. Let's take a detailed look at a few of the highlights:

Pandas:
Pandas mean a lot to the Rounge, but I challenge any one member to explain why or how these majestic creatures came to such prominence. Long after the panda hunt came to a conclusion and all pandaganda efforts should have come to a close, the rounge is still visited by numerous pandas. Why?
Llamas:
Llamarama was, in my opinion, running through our veins long before the rounge was even formed. However it was Lupa, the great Llama Lover and Lorenzo Lamas fan, that turned his simple, unbridled love of llamas into something the rest of the rounge could really appreciate.

Cats:
I hate cats. Absolutely hatethem. I'm pretty sure Grimace does too. But I think we all love lolcats. Hence this picture.


I don't know how anyone could possibly comment on this post. That's a challenge.

Kentucky Fried Panda

POS-MENS!

Swear to God, buddy at GE sent me this email he got from "corporate."

Conversation Opportunities

October presents some great opportunities to buzz about GE holiday lights with your family and friends.

· Sitting around the dinner table with family and friends

· As everyone admires the Halloween decorations, talk about holiday lighting options

· When people start talking about how to save money at home

· Fall sporting events

From "30 Rock" - Jack:All you have to do as the writing staff of an NBC show is incorporate positive mentions, or 'POS-MENS' of GE products into your program. For example you could write an episode where one of your character purchases, and is satisfied with one of GE's direct current drilling motors for off-shore or land-based projects.

Are you kidding me, GE?!

PANDA WEEKEND...TIME TO GET LIT!!

Wishing the Rounge a happy and so drnk weekend...Lets discuss Happy Hour (to be followed up with official weekend rounge drink: bloody mary's (or oscars) tomorrow AM.

I will start off with a beer, immediately followed by a whiskey...immediately followed by 25 more whiskey's. KM Ratio ticking down to mid 80's!!

Rounge Weekend Drink of the Week

It's getting late into the year, the temperature is dropping and it's getting dark earlier. However, the rounge still parties late into the night, trying desperately to grasp on to the fleeting summer. We say keep your egg nogs, hot toddies and muddled ciders to yourself; we're still drinking cold beers on the patio and taking shots of CnP until 4 a.m.

Late-night partying often requires late-morning pick me ups. I propose that the bloody mary be this week's drink of the week; it's the perfect way to ward off Friday's hangover and begin a college-football packed Saturday afternoon, and it's a refreshing way to wind down on Sunday evening, while watching a chilling new episode of Dexter.

Internal Struggle

Does Mad Men provide me enough entertainment to outweigh how much it makes me want to KM? Consider this past week's episode.

Don basically goes to work late, closes a huge deal because he made a guy a good Old Fashioned, drinks whiskey all day, yells at a b*tch to shut the h*ll up, will probably eventually sleep with his daughter's hot school teacher, yells at his wife, gets f*cked up on some pills as any good Rounger does and that's about it.

Whose fictional TV life is better? Debate away. My candidates, off the top of my abnormally mollusk-like head:

- Eric from Entourage Season 2 - basically had no job, started sleeping with Sloan, got a free Maserati, made 500k for reading the Aquaman script.

- Aforementioned Don Draper

- Uncle Jesse from Full House - Aunt Becky, yes please. Plus a rocker's life. Probably doesn't pay rent.