In the mundane smalltalk and everyday discussions we partake in, or overhear, nearly everyday you hear someone ask someone else if they saw last night's episode of "So you think your fat kid can dance with talent for his idol while john and kate watch the bachelor?".
The other party either shows an exuberance he or she has never shown in your presence (after all, you're at work), has it dvr'd and asks that no one talk about it, or is a rounge member and tells the person asking to STFU cause I was out getting sh_thoused and raging it up, as you should be.
It is towards this end that I'd like to propose that everyone weigh in on the biggest television phenomon that you have absolutely no interest in and wouldn't watch even if the alternative is to never taste the ambrosia that is a Smuttynose Porter, or listen to the fine tunes of early 90's rap group Smif & Wessun, ever again.
For my money, I can't think of anything dumber, more dragged out, or less believable as the promos, hearsay, and teasers I see for Lost. Yes, there are cases to be made for all the reality crap on TV, but I'm led to believe that at least those people have self awareness that they are putting themselves out there to be ridiculed, or that at least the show knows they're exploiting them...and there's even some unintentional humor (how do you look at Ryan Seacrest and not laugh and think he's definitely the guy in your grade school that had a sticker collection?).
So, back to my contention. * = premise of show, @ = my commentary.
* Lost, as far as I can tell, is about people who survive a plane crash
@That, right there, is not believable. Who in the hell survives plane crashes? Karma even caught up to DJ AM.
* They are then stranded on a tropical island
@Wtf didnt' the plane just land on the beach then? and wtf happened to the black box? wouldn't they be found immediately? it's not the 1400's where you send conquistadores out to explore foreign lands. we have freaking satellites and sht.
* They are stranded on a tropical island after a plane crash and they don't kill the dark guy
@Look, I'm someone who gets racially profiled on planes all the time. Let's just say, in this situation, I know my fate. Be realistic, Lost.
* I guess I could get on board with this being a one season show about the trials and tribulations these people go through
@But as far as I can tell, this show has been on for approximately 19 seasons (I think the Simpsons are worried). Shouldn't the arc be: all leave on happy trip, plane crash, island survival, get rescued, go home?
* Next thing I know, there's some Monster chasing people around
@wtf, I thought this was about a plane crash? And if there's nothing on the island, wtf does the Monster eat? He was just hibernating waiting for a plane crash? Seriously, how did this last more than one season? and how does anyone have a freaking gun on the island? wouldn't that guy be suspect #2 (behind aforementioned bretheren) for guy responsible for plane crash? oh, and speaking of monsters on islands, Where the Wild Things Are looks mfking awesome.
* Last thing I heard before effectively lighting myself on fire, there's a G*ddamn Time Machine
@I don't even have the energy to address this ridiculousness. Monsters, Time Machines...KY ABC. Monsters and Time Machines?? on a show about a plane crash? isn't that like if they started working in Unicorns and Vampires in on Gossip Girl? Ok, those might actually be themes in Gossip Girl but I don't think anyone cares because of Blake Lively. Lost, get Blake Lively and I'm on board with Monsters and Time Machines. Till then, get out of my stupid face.
So that's my ridiculous televeision sensation I just cannot and never will get on board with.
Rounge, join me at the table :)
POOF. thanks Huevos
I watched season 1 of lost and hit a wall. Once the smoke monster started threatening people the show got terrible. But there is another show that has a large, incredibly annoying following: The Wire.
ReplyDeleteLook, I know it's a good show. It's probably a great show. I've even watched 4-5 episodes of it. But for chrissake, who the fk cares about what happens in Baltimore?? The city SUCKS if you can even call it one. At least Detroit has Eminem and James Lipton (http://www.scribd.com/doc/336957/Famous-People-From-Detroit).
Also, I get that the show is a "realistic" look at detective work, but does anyone really want a realistic look? I don't want to simulate being on a 12 hour stakeout where nothing notable happens, which is usually what The Wire is. I want ACTION, including but not limited to rivalries between the goddamn Feds and the bumbling incompetent locals.
Lastly, when is this show supposed to take place? 1990s? 1980s? Yesterday? Does Baltimore just look like some shthole frozen in time?
Lastly, WTFR???
It's hard for me to follow up such an insightful, hilarious and agreeable post; I fking h8 Lost. It's one of those shows that became an instant sensation with a huge amount of mentally retrded Americans, and I just don't get it. Maybe I'm the retrd? I guess that's the more likely truth. In any event, Lost, Nip/Tuck, Heroes: gfy and stay out of my retrded fking face.
ReplyDeleteSome of you may remember back to my roundtable post about the best food-themed show on television. While I generally really like the Food Network (I don't care if Alton Brown is poofy), as explained in that post, I can't fking stand one particular food-themed show that is all the rage around the water cooler these days: Top Chef.
* = premise of show, @ = my commentary
* It's a cooking show
@ Then show me how to fking cook something. In the words of Billy Madison, "I'm here to learn, everybody, not make out with you," Top Chef contestants. More education, less drama, please
* For some reason, in order qualify to be a contestant on the show, you have to:
1. Be a total fop, poof or dyk*; or
2. Be a total fking a**hole or b*tch; or
3. Be more racially ambiguous than TG; and
4. You must have a fauxhawk.
@ I moved out of Williamsburg for a g*dd@mn reason: to avoid the exact kind of people who appear on Top Chef. In the good old days television, the only way these kinds of poofs ever found their way on air was when some hippie civil rights activist filmed them as they were being mowed down by fire hoses on their way to their pastry shops.
* Producer: "Let's have AT MOST a semi-attractive female contestant; nothing above a 6 or 7, though."
@ Let's face it, this show is on BRAVO so mostly women and nancy boys are watching, anyway. But, if you want to create a watchable drama that doesn't involve mystery/action/Kiefer Sutherland, then at least include a reasonably attractive female character.
* Padma's scar
@ WTF with that? Don't they have a make up department over there? Looks like something out of a sci-fi movie.
* The guest judges they have on the show are cooler than the actual, everyday judges.
@ Granted, these guest judges have day jobs and are not available to judge some stupid cooking battle 5 days a week. But seriously, you can't do better than Tom Colicchio? It's like they had an awesome idea: "Let's get Judge Mills Lane to judge the show," but settled for Collichio when Mills Lane found out the show would be on BRAVO.
There are many other things that irritate me about this show, including, as the roundtable category suggests, the mere fact that people talk about it so much. And there's nothing worse than watching this show with huge Top Chef fans. When they watch it, inevitably they have this mind-blowing discussion: "Who would you rather have cook for you, the winner of season 3 or the winner of season 2? We HAVE to go to his restaurant next time we're in the Castro District!!"
That is my contribution to the roundtable this week. What else, rounge?
i guess the tv phenomenon i never really got on board with was roots.
ReplyDeletealso, keeping up with the kardashians.
Taking reality shows out of the picture eliminates so much easy prey! Did you know NBC is always the 3rd-best-rated network, at best- despite shows stretching from Seinfeld to 30Rock? I think that's based on primetime studies so it eliminates the one main reason to watch other networks: football.
ReplyDeleteBut anyway here's one phenomenon that, while annoying, I haven't totally avoided: HBO shows. Let me start off by saying HBO has a number of very entertaining shows- I look forward to new episodes of Entourage and Curb Your Enthusiasm, thought Eastbound & Down was hilarious, really like that new show Bored to Death and thought The Life and Times of Tim was genius.
But, what the f*ck is up with the 6-episode seasons that appear randomly every 14-months, and then are shown repeatedly for months on end in the interim? There must be 150 shows in rotation right now! Yet that dips*it Bill Maher is on every friggin night! Not only does it confuse the hell out of my TIVO, but I forget all the story lines and either lose interest or get confused when the next season comes.
Marky Mark, let's get real. Do you really think HBO might cancel your series at this point, and so don't want to make too many episodes in advance? Or is this some cruel mind-trick/marketing-ploy based on studies of subscription economics?
For at least a year or two I actually stopped watching Entourage, etc. in protest, but clearly my 1-man strike made no dent in Home Box Office's bottom line. I don't think I was paying for it previously, so that's understandable. But regardless, let's go back to regular television seasons (off in the summer, sweepes- whatever the hell those are, etc.), like we used to have. And let's also put f*cknuts like Bill Maher back where they belong- on MSNBC and whatnot- where he can go back to fellating Nancy Pelosi and I don't have to hear about it.
Oh, and don't think you're not included in this, Showtime, just because I cancelled you!
It seems like The Wire is missing all the awesome-ry of Red Dawn.
ReplyDelete