Wednesday, September 16, 2009

TOP TEN!!!



Top Ten things the Lehman Brothers would have spent the money on had they received a capital infusion 1 year ago:

10) Intricately packaged Panda Backed Securities (PBS) to sell to China in exchange for new fully fungible Panda Currency
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13 comments:

  1. Taco GrandeSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:22 AM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. John McQuesadillaSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:22 AM

    9) The continued 'support' of the rating agencies in keeping Lupa's mortgage a AAA rated security

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  3. John McQuesadillaSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:22 AM

    *8)

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  4. John McQuesadillaSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:25 AM

    7) Panda alarm clocks

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  5. Taco GrandeSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:25 AM

    8. Hiring Dolph Lundgren to challenge Gasparino to boxing match in 32nd floor board room

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  6. Taco GrandeSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:25 AM

    7

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  7. John McQuesadillaSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:29 AM

    5) development of space age material for trousers that both breathe and hug TG's curves

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  8. John McQuesadillaSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:34 AM

    4) Re-hiring of Queso as Global Head of Jai Hind, TG immediately incites a bloody coup against him

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  9. Wesley Con QuesoSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:42 AM

    3) Immediate re-branding of bank to Mexican Theme, promotional stress balls for Banco de Tortilla costs > $6bn, borrowing from Fed window for additional stress balls aimed to promote the need for another capital infusion, or infusion de capital in accordance with new theme.

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  10. Taco GrandeSeptember 16, 2009 at 8:47 AM

    2. Finance Ricardo's "Guns and Glory" western inspired theme park where guests can relive historical battles with live ammunition. Tagline: anything from Red Dawn

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  11. John McQuesadillaSeptember 16, 2009 at 9:54 AM

    1) Gold statue in lobby of our fearless leader Dick 'The Tortilla' Fuld swatting Wizard of Oz'esque monkeys with Einhorn heads off the Herculean back of Lehman

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  12. Wesley Con QuesoSeptember 16, 2009 at 10:19 AM

    0) Technology improvements for website blockers to discourage employees from googling "Panda + Anything", "Erin Burnett", "Michael Jackson + Giraffe", "Lehman Brothers Ridiculous Disasater", "How to get h*gh from spices in the trader pantry", and "Mortgage Backed Securities for Dummies".

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  13. RickSeptember 16, 2009 at 2:55 PM

    Taco,
    Way off. Reenacting historical battles would indicate an appreciation for the past. I'd let people fight the battles of the future. Due to technological limitations of lasers/tasers/phasers/"phased-plasma rifle in the 40 watt range", people would attack one another with laser pointers and then chuck a rock at the other guy's face. Tagline: Anything from "Serendipity"

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